Hello
Well, there's the obvious answer. A man who generates sperm which inseminate an egg. That's pretty undisputed.
What is disputed is what should happen next. Is that it? Or should a father mean something more?
If your father is little more than a sperm donor. What do you owe them? What do they owe you?
Now I like difficult quesitons, but I've been struggling with these for a number of years and here's where I stand.
Men have a responsibility for their sperm. If they decide to have unprotected sex then they are accountable for the consequences. Granted mistakes happen, but then there are a number of measures to prevent these mistakes becoming a life long commitment. So if a couple decide not to correct their mistakes they are making a concious decision to commit to the child. Aren't they?
Now, I'm quite surprised what a sensitive issue this is as public debates on this issue nearly always seem to devolve into a discussion of "why can't we have single mum's?"and "If the father is a bad person, then the moter has the right to end the relationship". I agree. I don't see there being a problem with either of these. But my question relates more to the father. Why doesn't the father see it as their responsiblity to not be a bad person? Even if the mother and father aren't together why do some fathers think that gets them 'off the hook' as it where and they don't have to care for their kids?
I love this article. I think it really sums up the crisis of fatherhood society is generating and points out that what we think of as a 'traditional family' isn't so traditional after all!
I find this article facinating as it draws the links between the psychology of the parents and the impacts if has on the children " father-child interactions appear to be central to the development of a child's ability to maintain strong, fulfilling social relationships later in life."
This answer to distant fathers is also quite interesting.
I'ms getting a little off track... what is a father. Well.. whislt these studies do point out that it's easier for fathers to disconnect emotionally and remove themselves from parenting. I can't help but feel that a REAL father wouldn't. Regardless of the situation. I like the comment "The bottom line is, it's not up to the children to deal with this (parental problems), but either the two parents should grow up and try themselves to deal with their problems."
There really is a debt of responsibility on the father. A debt that society as a whole tends to let slip. There doesn't seem to be the support structures or role models or even social pressure to be a good father these days. But this isn't a social issue really. I think it's more down to the concions of father. It shouldn't be down to society to 'ok' detatchment from the child. The father should see it as their duty to protect and nurture. Whether that's in a relationship with the mother or not. That's not really the important bit. The important bit is being their for the child.
What do you think a father is? Or should be? Would you be like your father?
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