Why understand psychology?

Hello

Sorry I haven't posted for a while I've been writting lots of posts about some memories that I've recovered, fears, phobias sleep deprevation etc. But they are all a little too... hmm.. real to post right now. So I thought I'd post something a little more abstract. 

It occured to me that psychology is like cars.

Let me explain.

1. What is it? Imagine you've never seen a road or know what cars are. You are walking along a path in the country and you suddenly come across a road. It looks scary. It sounds loud, dangerous. You don't understand it. If you reach out and try and touch it it will take your hand off. Luckily we are all taught be basics from an early age of stop, look and listen. It's part of our culture to ensure that people understand cars and roads. If you are going through live without a basic understanding of personal psychology and you are attacked by a farmer, spot a big spider that terifies you or find out a friend has died. It can be like standing on the middle of a road and seeing a car heading straight for you. If you have been brought up in an emotionally open environment you are normally equiped from an early age with a very basic understanding of psychology. You don't need to know how to drive. But you do need to know when something is a bad idea. Personally I think not having an understanding of psychology at an early age can be more dangerous than not having an understanding of the dangers of roads. There needs to be an instinctive way of dealing with emotional trauma. Oddly stop, look and listen seem to be a good idea here too. Or stop and assess what's happened and be aware of your feelings, try to put what's happened into perspective and communicate with people about your feelings. It's odd to me that many people hope and assume that thier child won't have any traumatic experience in thier life. Yet at the same time have a deep fear of roads. I guess because one of tangeable, instant and immediate threat. The other one... well... doesn't bare thinking about..

2. Can roads and cars be used? Well, yes, when you're growing up you are often driven around by your parents to all sorts of things. Things you do, like school and things that your parents do and you find boring like the weekly food shop. I think in these early years psychologically this is much the same. You are so close with your parents when they are happy, you are happy, when they are sad you are sad. A child tends to pick up on a hell of a lot from the parents, not just mood but coping mechanisms. The child picks up values of what to do to make you happy and what to do that will make you sad. One example would be a coping mechanism like alcoholism, the child learns that that's how you cope with things regardless of the pain and suffering they know it causes. 

3. What happens when you're old enough to drive? Always a nervous time. You reach an age as a teenager when you come across a barrier. You can't be the person you want to be, achieve what you want to acheive unless you can drive. (I know lots of people don't drive, but you get the idea of what I'm saying.. right?) The same is said for psychology. During puberty, discovering sexual urges, relationships and greater emotional independence. It suddenly becomes important to want to drive and also to have a better understanding of your own psychology and the psychology of people around you. You need to learn the rules of the road in relationships to prevent ending up in an emotional wreckage. 

Unfortunately there isn't really a lot of support for going through this process, you don't get personal training once a week and a test at the end to ensure you've understood how to lead a mentally positive live. That you've got a good understanding of yourself and others around you to be able to handle any situation. Instead it's more like learning how to drive a car by playing Grand Theft Auto. Teen mags, gossip at school and reality TV are what educate our youths. Scary!

Types of driving. 

Lone driving - Lone driving can be very empowering you can have the music you want on and turn it up really loud. You can go whereever you want, whenever you want. The trouble is, if you get lost you can't really read a map and drive at the same time. Occasionally you need to stop everything. Check the map and then try and work your way back on track. 

Car pooling - Like a partner, you're both going to the same place so you share the journey. You can both take turns at driving. If you get lost the other person can look at a map whilst you concentrate on the road, or when it gets really bad. Change drivers. 

Road trip - You and a few mates are off into the wild blue yonder. Mates can also help with directions and share the driving, but they aren't nesessarily going where you want to do and the trips can become something special rather than every day. 

Taxi! - For when you've really lost your way and you don't have you car to drive in and you can't turn to your friends or partners for help. A taxi is very useful. You get to set the direction and the taxi driver will get you home. This is where a therapist can come in handy. They know the roads ahead and they can help get you there.... as long as you're paying! 

Bus - For when a taxi is too expensive and whilst the bus isn't going ecactly where you want or in the most direct route, but it'll get you close enough for you to go the rest of the way yourself. Self help books, motivational courses and inspirational talks are the buses of psychology. But you've got to understand the bus timetable to make sure you get the right bus to the right destination and be lucky enough for the bus to turn up when you want it. 

Ambulance/Police car - For when you're not in a fit state to drive and no one expects you to pay for a taxi. The worrying trasport methods for when you are in a really bad state of mind. More often than not, a risk to others. We all hope we avoid getting a lift in the ambulance/police cars of this world!  

To relate this to where I am right now, I've been lone driving. I've had to stop for directions. But I'm thinking about calling a taxi. Just need to work out what sort of firm I need and how on Earth I'm going to be able to pay for it. 

Take care

RJ