How many types of friend do you have?

Hello

I think social networking was invented by someone like me. Who likes the idea of having lots of friends, but tihnks it could be more 'efficient'. Sorry, that does make me sound cold. But I'm really not. I'm someone who strongly believes in best friends.  I have a small network of very close friends. But then a have a big network of not so close friends. 

Maintaining 'not so close' friendships is difficult and time consuming. Very inefficient. After all there's a reason you like and want to be friends with them, but there's also a reason they aren't 'best friends'. This can be for any number of reasons, let me know if any of these ring a bell with your friend network?

Work friends - It's good to have someone you can confide in about work things, someone who you know has your back. But work life doesn't nesessarily translate well into your private life. There are typically thing you don't want getting out at work! (Especailly if your friend is your boss!)

Long Distance Friends - Oh, gone are the days you could phone them up at 5 and be in be pub at 6 for a night on the town. These are friends that through pure circumstances no longer live near you and you start to fall behind on their every day activities. You can't be there when they're low and they can't be there for you when you are. Although neither party typically wants it to happen, the friendship inevitibly drifts.

Friends that fell in love - In my experience this is the most painful type of friendship. Someone who you're really close to, get on well with and increasingly seems to spend time with suddenly announces they are in love with you. Telling a friend that you don't feel that way is very hard. It's also hard to know that if such a thing were to happen to that firend you'd normally be the person they talk to, but now your the problem not the solution. The awkwardness of this situaiton makes it almost inevitable that the friendship won't last. 

Friends that just aren't that into you - You think they live such facinating lives, they always know what to do. You look up to them as a role model of how you should be. But they keep cancelling on you and you found out they went out with loads of people and didn't invite you. Yes, you're friend just isn't that into you. As happens in relationships, this can happen in friendships too. It's a shame, but it's inevitable. These are typically the friends you aren't too close to but for years to come you'll wonder 'what did I do wrong?' 'did I drive them away?' 'maybe I should have texted/called them more?"

Desperate Friends 

 This is my second most annoying type of friend. The type of person that's happy to buy you things, drinks, tickets etc. They phone you on a regular basis and are always making plans for you to go out. (I know I havent gotten to the annoying bit yet.. bare with me). - I've had to split this up into subcatagories

It's all about THEM friends - These are the types of people who, when you do spend time with them spend ALL of it talking about themselves. Typical conversations that are repeated over and over and over until you want to tear out your eyes and ears. If you've ever thought "FFS Just break up with them, they're bad news! They were bad news when you first got together 2 years ago, they're still bad news now. AHHHH!!! Why ask for advice if you aren't going to listen to it!!!" I have the utmost sympathy for anyone with a friend like this. In other respects they may be great, but when you start having dark thoughts about hurting them if they bring it up again, it's probably a good idea that you don't spend too much time with them.

"I just want to spend time with you" friend - The type of firend that doesn't really have anything to SAY about themselves and starts pointless conversations all the time. If they've asked you the same question 3 times in a single conversation and won't get off the phone even when the conversation died 20 minutes ago. These are desperate friends. I feel sorry for this type of friend because they clearly need something, but won't really talk about it. Push too hard to try and find out the reason and you get the "I just want to spend time with you, what's wrong with that?" This type of friend typically doesn't want to go out much or do anything exciting together, they just want to 'hang out' all the time and talk about... nothing. It's very difficult to breathe live into these friendships so again you start to distance yourself. (Yes, drifting from this type is very hard, it's more a crowbar you need to get them off! Unfortunately you usually loose them as a friend in the process)

Friends from the past - You were once, bet buds and they always knew what you were thinking. But both you and your friend have grown up a bit. Interests have changed, you've both moved on with your lives. But when you do get together you can't think of any reason why you don't spend more time with each other. But then you don't see each other for 6 months or so, cos of work or family, or relationships. These are the 'lost friends'. I miss these friends the most. It seems that fate has pulled you in two very differant directions and the gap seems to keep getting bigger every time you see them. 

Ex boy/girl friends - "Promise me, we'll always be friends" or "Can't we just be friends" are two of the biggest 'miss sell' of any friendships. You like to think you won't loose that person just because you aren't dating. After all they still mean a lot to you. But it's never the same after the break up. All the fun memories, the occasional surpressed sexual tension, the hole you feel in the pit of your stomach when they start dating someone else. Even with the best of intentions friendships with ex's rarely work out. And they NEVER work out if you try and be friends straight after the break up. You need a good couple of years apart if this type of friendship is going to stand any chance at all. 

The 'Not really friends' friends - We've all got loads of these. People who hang out in the same group as your friends. Someone who you always say hi to and small talk them. But really you know very little about them and for some reason you just haven't 'clicked' but they're friends with your friends, so they become friends by default. This is an odd friend group, you go to their birthday because all you other friends are going, but you just have no idea what to get them as a pressie because you don't really know them. This is a difficult dilema as if getting vouchers might as well be the same thing as wearing a t-shirt saying "Don't know who the f&^k you are, but I heard there's free beer?"

Aww.. this post has really brought back a lot of memories, good and bad. That's all the types I can think if at the moment. Will update if I can think of more. Add a comment if you can think of any more?